the beginning.

I'm a sucker for a good bookstore. There are pages, chapters, sections and volumes of stories waiting to be unfolded, one word, one letter, at a time. I could sit on the floor in between the aisles and read the descriptions of what is between the covers for hours. Just the possibility of getting so deep into what was on the page that you lose yourself vastly intrigues me. It has happened before, and it will happen again. I'm easily distracted by the next cover, because I want to develop another story in my mind. 

There's a certain smell in the bookstore that brings me hope. It's a hope of something new, something different, something that will challenge me, stretch me and maybe even change me. I used to love the smell of the book fair. You remember that week in school? Where for two hours that week you would get to spend your own money on posters, toys, kits...and books...that were hauled into the library in trunks the size of Epcot. Those people were geniuses. Somehow they got thousands of students across America to get pumped to buy books. I loved that smell. 

I'll often stroll the aisles pondering where each book got its name. And as I pull the book from its tucked position, there's something beautiful about knowing the unknown is in my hands. That even in the smallest way, I'm about to embark on an adventure unlike any I ever have before.

All too often, I put the book back. Or even worse, I walk out of the store with a newly purchased story that will find its home gathering dust sitting on a new bookshelf in my home. What a disappointment. Knowing excitement, joy, fun, emotion, engagement is just waiting on the shelf. I'm a sucker for a good bookstore, but I'm not always a sucker for a good book.

I've been this way my entire life. As a little girl, I loved stories. I loved to create my own stories, have big dreams, even write my own lyrics (thank Jesus I was smart enough to know my voice wasn't one to sing them out loud). But when it came to finishing a book, seeing a dream through or asking my brother to write the music, I always believed more in the potential of something than the actual product. 

Every personality test I've ever taken has told me one common thing about myself: I'm a developer. I develop ideas, tasks, dreams, people, stories in my head with no problem. I believe in their potential, but sometimes all I can see is potential.

It's time that I went past potential into reality. It's time that I saw exactly what story the Lord has put in front of me, instead of just believing it has potential. It's time my passion went beyond a thought, and was a story that was worth actually reading.

This, this is my story. It's the story that has shaped who I am. The story that has pointed me in every direction. The story of people, places and circumstances that were put in my path to teach me something about Him. The story that has sharpened me, challenged me, and made me realize, its actually not about me. 

Chapter 1 begins now. And it's not going back on the shelf.